Married To A Stranger

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When ever I would come across the famous quote Marriages Are Made In Heaven And Celebrated on Earth, I would think to myself what does that even means until I got married to a stranger who now is my best friend.

Friends and followers keep asking me If I have adjusted to the change, how my married life is coming along. If coping with an arrange marriage is difficult and how long it took me to settle down. Well, Marriage is not about a perfect couple living together its when an imperfect couple enjoy their differences. Giving up and leaving is the easiest way out but fighting and standing strong is the key to a successful marriage.

It has not been long that I got married and I follow NO rules but I have highlighted a few tips.

Be Friends: After knowing you have to spend the rest of your life with your partner, Become friends first. Don’t push too hard and take it slow. Make jokes, gossip and understand each other and stay focused when spending time together.
Keep No Secrets: Don’t take anyone’s advice when told to keep things from your partner. After you have become friends and you’ve built understanding start with sharing small secrets. Enjoy having a soul mate and partner on your side.

Don’t Get Angry At The Same Time: There are agreements and disagreements in every relationship especially when you are living with someone so close. If you don’t like what your partner is suggesting or you disagree to the idea or you are in a fight, Keep your sanity. Stay calm and give each other some time. Once the situation is cooled down explain your point of view.
Give Space: Remember! before you started sharing his room he had a life of his own and you had yours. Give each other some room and space. Let him have some time while you can make him a meal that you can share together.

Never Spy Or Doubt: If you think something is fishy and unusual or If u hear a part of some conversation don’t go on a secret mission of spying on him or give room to doubts in your heart. Walk up to him and tell him how you feel and ask what ever is in your heart directly.
Watch A Show Together: Pick a show and watch it together with some snacks before going to bed. Make small comments in between to make it interesting.

Date Night: To keep the charm alive date your partner, Make plans ahead of time and send him a reminder message in the morning of the day you have plans for. Pick clothes for him and Let him chose for you. If you have a baby or kids take help from family or friends to watch them while you spend a couple of hours together.
Defend Your Partner: The best feeling is to have your partner on your side. Defend him even when he is wrong and don’t make him feel alone or left out. You can take him to a side and tell him about his mistakes.
Have Common Friends: I have read numerous blogs were its suggested to have different friends than your partners. But I believe in having common friends. Host Pot-lucks, Game Nights, Celebrate small occasions and have everyone over. Even when you make new friends besides your partner’s introduce their spouses to yours. This way you’ll have a bigger group of friends to have fun with.
Make Trips And Explore: Every alternate weekend pick a new place to try be it a restaurant/cafe or an activity hub. Start saving from the beginning of the year for a long trip to explore new cities or different countries. Read about their cultures and occasions before planning the trip.
Charm And Attraction: Superficial and materialistic things don’t matter in a strong relationship. Don’t try too hard to be what you’re not. Keep it original, He married you for what you are, If your partner cannot appreciate you or is not attracted to you. Forget it and Love yourself and Become your own Best friend. Self Confidence is the charm to your personality which makes it attractive.
Respect And Appreciate: No relationship can survive for long without respect or appreciation. Never make your partner feel unloved or treat him with disrespect. The best time to appreciate your partner is when with family or friends. Highlight his efforts for you. Show him off ! And thank him when alone.
Give respect all times, There is a thin line between disagreeing and being disrespectful. Art is to know which one not to cross.
Forgive, Forget And Grow: Every person stands a chance. Forgive and forget a couple of times but don’t be a fool to make it a habit. Tell him how it hurts you and affects your relationship and give each other a fair chance to grow.
SMILE: Take control and be head strong, Smile even when it hurts
I hope these pointers help you in some way. Your Feedback will be appreciated

Credit: Parkhakhan

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Why A Great Marriage Demands Great Sex

One of the most frequent client complaints I get is about a sexless marriage. While sometimes, in case of illness or injury, a complete sexual experience is not possible in a partnership, it is always best to engage in whatever level sexual activity is available to the couple. Marriage without sex is vulnerable to temptation.

Don’t kid yourselves that you can be just best friends and have a lasting marriage. Sooner or later, temptation will arise, either from a partner’s co-worker, another member of the church choir, (this happens a surprising amount) or a neighbor. The drive to have sex is powerful, and it will be satisfied, one way or another. Don’t you want to satisfy your needs with your partner?

Keeping love and sex alive in your relationship is what keeps it active and healthy. A good sex life is like the roots that anchor a tree. To keep that vital energy going (and the sap rising!), you need to continually provide something new and interesting. Seduction can be as simple as causing your partner to ask what you’ve been doing that has you so energized and interested. When you’re enthusiastic, you’re seductive and at your most attractive.

Relationships continue to develop in stages, even after the honeymoon is over.In the development of intimacy, love matures and becomes reality-based. It’s the time where the magic fades; both of you begin to relax and show your innermost, less perfect selves. You’re beginning to get to know each other, warts and all. You may feel vulnerable and awkward. In this stage, you may argue, struggle for power, become irritable and unreasonable. The fear that your lover will not like this more realistic view of you arises. As a result, both partners need and have trouble providing reassurance and personal space. Many relationships don’t make it through this stage, because if the partners don’t understand or expect this change, it can feel like something is terribly wrong.

Here are four simple steps to create a successful marriage – complete with lots of intimacy:

1. Talk frequently and honestly to each other about your frustrations, sex, anger, disappointment, your appreciation of each other, the meaning of life… talk about everything.
2. Strive to work together to solve anything that comes up. Be a team and a partnership. Don’t get stuck on who’s right or wrong. Focus on what will solve the problem.
3. Keep your connection going through communication, sex, affection, understanding and concern for each other.
4. Have a sense of humor, give the benefit of the doubt and care about each other.

When your relationship lasts for a while, your lovemaking will change. As you get closer, passion no longer grows automatically out of the excitement of the new and unknown. Rather than allowing your energy to subside, you can allow your sex lives to change and grow, deepening as your partnership does. Couples who develop a sexual repertoire which includes a variety of habits, attitudes and options report feeling more satisfaction and freedom to express their love with enough variety that they never get bored. These suggestions will help you create a variety of experiences together.

 

Quickies:
These are ways to enjoy sex when you don’t really have time for a full, leisurely romantic evening: Try oral sex before you leave for work, petting to climax in the car at a drive-in movie, using toys to have orgasms without a lot of foreplay late at night, or taking a nap and having a “quickie” before rushing off to a party.

Sneaky Sex:
This has the added excitement of forbidden fruit: having silent sex behind locked doors while the children are watching TV or sneaking lovemaking in your childhood bedroom while visiting your parents.

Romantic Sex:
This is the full-blown variety: candlelight, dinner, quiet talking, dressing up, perhaps a lovely hotel room or a romantic dinner for two when you have time alone at home. This is especially good for anniversaries, Valentine’s Day, or anytime your relationship needs a boost.

New Couple Sex:
Recreate a scene from your dating days, as closely as possible: the time you met at church and couldn’t wait to get home and make love, the flowers you used to bring home as a surprise, or saying all the silly, wildly-in-love things you would whisper “way back then.”

Make-up Sex:
After you’ve had an argument or a struggle and forgiven each other, lovemaking can be extra tender and memorable.

Comforting Sex:
When one of you is sad or stressed, and the other acts in a way that is caring and soothing, sex can feel comforting and safe. This is a celebration of your long-time bond and how hard you’ve worked to maintain it.

Relaxing Sex:
This is a great activity for a weekend morning when you have no obligations and can laze around, have breakfast in bed, and make love for as long as you want. There’s no pressure, no hurry and no demands on each other.

Reassuring Sex:
This is manifested in affection and intimacy intended to reassure a partner who is temporarily insecure, or designed to reaffirm your mutual love and commitment to each other. It is often accompanied by many verbal declarations of love and explaining again why you are so important to each other.

Fantasy Sex:
Act out all the silly, forbidden or exciting fantasies you’ve been harboring: nurse and patient, “playing house,” master or dominatrix and slave, stripper and customer, extraterrestrial alien and abductee, famous movie star and adoring fan, your two favorite characters from a soap opera, novel or movie… or anything else you can imagine. This is a great time for costumes, masks, toys, outfits, or whatever enhancements you enjoy.

Credit: care2.com

Health benefits of kissing

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Ah, the kiss. It can be so many things: sweet, loving, awkward, intense, transporting, disappointing, boring, sublime, life altering.

On the delicious and passionate side of the spectrum, a smooch can be a heart-healthy micro workout, a hormone releaser and a mood booster. It’s also fun — and a great way to connect with the person you care about.

“Sex, as wonderful as it is, can be perfunctory,” says Andréa Demirjian, author of “Kissing: Everything You Ever Wanted to Know about One of Life’s Sweetest Pleasures.”

“Kissing is intimate: You’re right there in the space of your soul. It gets to the core of your heart and spirit because it’s such a lovely way to express and receive love and affection. A kiss a day really can keep the doctor away.”

1. Kissing helps reduce blood pressure

Making out isn’t just good for your emotional heart, it gives your anatomical one a workout, too. “Kissing passionately gets your heartbeat revved in a healthy way that helps lower your blood pressure,” says Demirjian. “It dilates your blood vessels — blood is flowing in a good, solid fashion and getting to all your vital organs.”

2. Kissing zaps cramps and headaches

“Kissing is great if you have a headache or menstrual cramps,” says Demirjian. You may be inclined to wave away advances when you’re curled into an achy ball, but the blood-vessel dilation brought on by a good long smooching session can really help ease your pain. In fact, Demirjian recommends replacing the ol’ “Not tonight, dear — I have a headache” line with, “Honey, I have a headache. Come kiss me!”

3. Kissing fights cavities

A smooch-a-thon gets all, er, fluids flowing — including your saliva. “When you’re kissing, you’re secreting more saliva in your mouth,” says Demirjian. “That’s the mechanism that washes away the plaque on your teeth that leads to cavities.” (So much more fun than gargling!)

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4. Kissing amps up your happy hormones

“If you’re feeling stressed or rundown, a little kissing or lovemaking [is] actually the elixir you need to… feel better,” says Demirjian. “It will relax, restore and revitalize you…. The feel-good chemicals in the brain get percolating: serotonin, dopamine, oxytocin — things you can get from the rush of exercising.”

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5. Kissing burns (a few) calories

It can’t compare to 30 minutes on the elliptical, but a vigorous makeout session can burn 8 to 16 calories per smooch, says Demirjian. “Kissing and lovemaking can be a vigorous exercise if you’re fully engaged,” she says. “You need to have a passionate kiss [in order to burn those calories], but it doesn’t have to be a 10-hour makeout session.”

booster6.Kissing boosts self-esteem

One German study found that men who got a nice juicy kiss from their wives before leaving for work made more money. “If he leaves his home happy, he’s more productive at work because he’s not feeling emotionally distressed, so he’s going to make more money,” explains Demirjian. “Kissing has so much to do with your self-esteem and feeling loved and connected.”

7. Kissing can give you a facelift (kind of)

Per Demirjian, deep kissing can shape up the neck and jawline, which are often trouble spots for those concerned about looking older. “Your mouth has a number of facial muscles,” she says. “When those are engaged in kissing, you can tighten and tone them.”

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8. Kissing is a barometer for sexual compatibility

It can be an excellent way to check out a potential partner for sexual compatibility before getting naked and emotionally involved, says Demirjian. But if your very first liplock with a new partner is meh, she recommends giving him or her one more shot.

“Sometimes during the first kiss, people are feeling awkward, nervous or embarrassed,” she says. “That might not breed the most seductive, sexy experience.” Second kiss is crappy, too? That’s your cue to take your lips — and the rest of you — elsewhere.

Cuddling With Your Partner Does Something Very Surprising to Your Health

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If you can’t get close enough to your significant other (or non-significant other), scientific studies have your back, quite literally. As it turns out, cuddling might as well be a miracle drug.

Most of us already know that cuddling with someone, be it our pets, best friends, partners or kids, makes us feel cozy, safe and warm. It’s what we want to do when it’s drafty in our apartments, or when The Walking Dead is on and we can’t handle watching zombies take big sloppy bites out of humans alone, or when we’re just bummed out and need a soft surface to lay our heads.

But could snuggling be scientifically proven to be healthy? Thank goodness — the answer is yes. Here are five reasons why:

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1. Cuddling makes us happier.
When you’re physically close to someone, you tend to feel happier and healthier. According to Women’s Health Magazine, “touching someone releases [dopamine and serotonin], both of which can boost your mood and curb depression.”

Furthermore, when a person is physically close to someone, his or her body releases oxytocin, another “happy chemical” that contributes to us cultivating and maintaining intimate, healthy relationships. According to Paul Zak, an expert on the beloved hormone and self-proclaimed “Dr. Love,” oxytocin is the “moral molecule behind all human virtue, trust, affection and love, a ‘social glue’ that keeps society together.” A hand hold, a snuggle, a hug — all of these actions supposedly increase levels of oxytocin.

Oxytocin isn’t necessarily a miracle molecule, of course. Jennifer Bartz from the Mount Sinai School of Medicine, for example, discovered that the effects of oxytocin really depend on an individual’s personality and perspective, according to Slate. But several studies have pointed to the molecule’s ability to promote “feelings of devotion, trust and bonding” between people, giving oxytocin its title of “the bonding hormone.”

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2. Cuddling can strengthen our immune systems.
Intimacy is healthy. The human touch has been shown to drop a person’s levels of cortisol, the main biological culprit of stress. As Roberta Lee of Beth Israel Medical Center in New York explains, “Cortisol suppresses the immune response. Anything that increases the relaxation response triggers the restoration of your immune response.”

The result: Your body is more able to fight off viruses and inflammation, making you happier and healthier.

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3. Cuddling makes us less anxious.
Not only does close proximity to other humans make you feel happier, it can also decrease your worries and anxiety. When you touch someone, the skin-on-skin contact signals your adrenal glands to cease excessive amounts of cortisol production, the aforementioned stress hormone.

“Having this friendly touch, just somebody simply touching our arm and holding it, buffers the physiological consequences of this stressful response,” Matt Hertenstein of DePauw University told NPR.

James Coan, an assistant professor at the University of Virginia, conducted a study that illustrated the helpfulness of the human touch, specifically hand holding. While administering MRIs, he warned 16 married women that they might “experience shock.” Each woman’s state of anxiety was instantly illuminated in the MRI scans. But when these women held each other’s hands for comfort, their elevated stress response subsided. When their husbands held their hands, the ladies grew even more relaxed.

“There was a qualitative shift in the number of regions in the brain that just weren’t reacting anymore to the threat cue, Coan told CNN. As Coan and his colleagues noted in their paper on the study, marital hand-holding influenced the neural activation in the hypothalamus, which in turn influences the release of cortisol.

4. Cuddling could help us sleep better.
Oxytocin does more than help us bond and potentially increase happiness. Since increased levels of oxytocin help you relax and reduce high blood pressure, it could also be connected with better sleep alongside your partner, Rachel E. Salas of the Johns Hopkins Center for Sleep suggested.

Moreover, studies have found “suggestive evidence that couples’ emotional closeness and physical intimacy during the daytime and prior to bedtime may promote sleep,” which we’d presume makes each bed partner happier — read: less grumpy — the next day. So get your eight hours with your significant other or another warm body by your side.

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5. Cuddling goes hand-in-hand with closer relationships.
Studies have shown that couples that regularly cuddle and snuggle in bed are most likely in healthier relationships.

“One of the most important differences involved touching. Ninety-four percent of couples who spent the night in contact with one another were happy with their relationship, compared to just 68% of those that didn’t touch,” Richard Wiseman, a psychologist at the University of Hertfordshire in England told the Telegraph. While 68% isn’t the lowest number in the world, 94% would seem to reflect positively on the effectiveness of cuddling and touching at night.

Moreover, couples who used to be more physically affectionate but have since cut back on cuddling could potentially be in bad shape. According to Wiseman, “If you have a couple who used to sleep close together but are now drifting further apart in bed, then that could [be] symptomatic of them growing apart when they are awake.”

The bottom line? Cuddling is definitively excellent. So if you want to spend the evening cuddled up on the couch with the closest person you can find, you should. Because science says so, and you would be doing your body some good.