This is a tribute to my father which is long overdue.
Thank you for your unconditional love and patience, it has carried me through a lifetime of heartache, change, and growth. Those values and morals you insisted on teaching me, did come back to me as I matured and grew, as you adamantly believed they would. They helped to make me the woman I am today.
Thank you for pulling me in your arms, sheltering me, and making me cry. I hate to cry, it never changes or fixes anything. You always said, they make me human, not weak. I miss the strength of your arms, the steady beat of your heart while I laid my head on your chest and drew comfort from you. The deep rumble in your chest as you comforted me, stroked my hair, and discussed mistakes good and bad, there is no such thing as a mistake if we learn from it. You did not allow me to wallow in self pity, made me face that change comes from within, you tore down any walls that I built and stood in front of me while I spread my wings.
You grabbed hold of me after we buried a miscarried daughter of 7 months , we named her Margaret. The anger and betrayal that a loving God you raised me to believe in could take such a beautiful child away, while you once again wrapped me in those strong arms, made me cry, reminded me of your love for me, and lectured me for ever questioning “the Man upstairs”. You taught me forgiveness and understanding , nothing is black and white. I have never met another man like you, I wish I had said I love you more.
Time is a fragile thing, and there is never enough time to say and do all the things that we want to. While I viewed your broken body, confirming who you were for some nameless stranger, I realized there were no more tomorrows. A chapter in my life closed while I held your cold hand, thick black string holding your precious face together. Even in death you taught me another lesson. You fought to stay alive until the bitter end. And that lifetime of lessons, forgiveness and love, slowly began to form again. forgiveness for the woman whose mistake took your life, strength to help the rest of the family move forward, the courage to hold my head high, be proud of who I am, love my own children with unconditional love.
I am learning to let go of my children as they have become adults, believe I have taught them the things that you taught me, believe some day they will reach for the strength, courage, values, morals that were taught while they were young, believe they will be fine while they spread their wings and make their own families. I was blessed and so fortunate to have you, I have met far too many who have never had someone like you. I can still feel your love for me reaching from the grave.
Thank you Dad for being the Father that you were. I still love you, miss you, and look forward to the day we may hug again. I cherish those memories that you built, they have carried me through some rough times. And I thank you God, for the time you gave me with that dear man, and forgive me for selfish feelings when you took him home. I understand you had more purposes for him than just me.
Your humble and loving daughter,
Until we meet again in God’s love and grace.
-Lovely Thoughts Admin-